Recently I've found ou that i am going through imposter syndrome. I’ve experienced imposter phenomenon most deeply when I’ve tried to restart my journey after setbacks—especially after dropping out of my physiotherapy course. I was a perfectionist, but never academically gifted, and that clash made me feel like I was constantly falling short. There are so many fears stopping me from doing the things I want. I feel guilt, rage, and agony because I know I have the capacity, the time, and the health to do something meaningful with my life—but I still can’t seem to move. I’m stuck. And it’s been a loop for more than a year.
But that one year… was the hardest of my life to deal with. To others, it might look easy—“she was just at home, not studying”, "Oh she just doesn't want to study"—but inside, i was constantly comparing myself to my friends who are ahead of my life achieving so much. Its hard to admit but i get aggressive or overreact when i decide my career (idk why) i am still discovering myself in my darkness. I was someone who didn’t even know what she liked, or who she really was. But now, I’ve become someone real. From chasing perfection to accepting my flaws. From being numb to being someone who can breathe. A human being who feels. Who expresses. Likes and dislikes. (Yes, I’m short-tempered.) But at least I feel now. I cry, I shout, I laugh. And even if I’m still stuck—I’m no longer lost in the same way. I’m alive. That matters.
Wow what a thoughtful response, thank you for taking the time to read and also for sharing your perspective. It sounds like you have made a lot of progress over that year of inner work. And that is the most valuable type of “work” we can ever do really, untangling the stories we hold onto that may be holding us back and moving into a place of acceptance. It’s huge. And from that place of allowing all of the feelings and embracing the unknowns, letting go of the comparisons, that’s where we often find the most aligned opportunities for us. 💫
And you’re not alone with feeling overreactive when it comes to career decisions, there is a lot of external pressure and conditioning that we have to learn to tune out before we can hear our internal compass and move in the direction we truly want to.
All the best for this next part of your journey and congrats again on finding your way back to yourself. 💛
I really got a lot out of this article as I have gate 48 activated and learnt more about this aspect of myself.
While in the past, I would accept most invitations to take on more responsibility in my work, winging it as I went along, these days I recognise the mental load in doing that along with how full my plate already is outside of work and so I shy away from taking on more. And I notice I am not being offered to step up to higher roles anymore.. which is a mix of relief and disappointment because I’m not expected to do things I don’t know if I necessarily can do, and so, feeling stable and sure of my role - and not the imposter! ..but I’m also feeling not seen for my ability and then the success of promotion.
That’s such a great example, and I can imagine you feel conflicted about no longer being invited to take on more responsibility. It’s a tricky thing to balance your boundaries with also wanting to be challenged. There is obviously that part of you that wants to rise to meet higher expectations but sometimes our life stage, emotional state or, like you said, mental load makes it difficult to take on more in our professional roles.
You’re in a season of life where it’s important to have boundaries around taking on more work, but of course the Projector desire to be seen and recognised is still there. But it’s important that Projectors are recognised for the right thing.
As a 6/2 you are going to naturally pick things up quickly and then make it look easy from the outside, which means others see that you are very capable of a wide range of things. But that’s not necessarily true recognition. And you’ve probably noticed that you don’t experience the same sense of ‘success’ when you are saying yes to extra responsibility, that you don’t actually have the energy for?
Your answer might also fluctuate depending on your hermit cycles (whether you are in retreat mode or outside your cave) so that could be contributing to you feeling confused about whether you want the invitations or not?
Yes definitely depends on the day as to how much extra I can/want to take on. And then also depends on the day as to how capable I feel with any given task.
I have to say again how lovely it is to feel so seen and understand by you! It’s actually like a pressure relief. Thank you 💛
First and foremost Thankyou for writing id <3
Recently I've found ou that i am going through imposter syndrome. I’ve experienced imposter phenomenon most deeply when I’ve tried to restart my journey after setbacks—especially after dropping out of my physiotherapy course. I was a perfectionist, but never academically gifted, and that clash made me feel like I was constantly falling short. There are so many fears stopping me from doing the things I want. I feel guilt, rage, and agony because I know I have the capacity, the time, and the health to do something meaningful with my life—but I still can’t seem to move. I’m stuck. And it’s been a loop for more than a year.
But that one year… was the hardest of my life to deal with. To others, it might look easy—“she was just at home, not studying”, "Oh she just doesn't want to study"—but inside, i was constantly comparing myself to my friends who are ahead of my life achieving so much. Its hard to admit but i get aggressive or overreact when i decide my career (idk why) i am still discovering myself in my darkness. I was someone who didn’t even know what she liked, or who she really was. But now, I’ve become someone real. From chasing perfection to accepting my flaws. From being numb to being someone who can breathe. A human being who feels. Who expresses. Likes and dislikes. (Yes, I’m short-tempered.) But at least I feel now. I cry, I shout, I laugh. And even if I’m still stuck—I’m no longer lost in the same way. I’m alive. That matters.
Wow what a thoughtful response, thank you for taking the time to read and also for sharing your perspective. It sounds like you have made a lot of progress over that year of inner work. And that is the most valuable type of “work” we can ever do really, untangling the stories we hold onto that may be holding us back and moving into a place of acceptance. It’s huge. And from that place of allowing all of the feelings and embracing the unknowns, letting go of the comparisons, that’s where we often find the most aligned opportunities for us. 💫
And you’re not alone with feeling overreactive when it comes to career decisions, there is a lot of external pressure and conditioning that we have to learn to tune out before we can hear our internal compass and move in the direction we truly want to.
All the best for this next part of your journey and congrats again on finding your way back to yourself. 💛
I really got a lot out of this article as I have gate 48 activated and learnt more about this aspect of myself.
While in the past, I would accept most invitations to take on more responsibility in my work, winging it as I went along, these days I recognise the mental load in doing that along with how full my plate already is outside of work and so I shy away from taking on more. And I notice I am not being offered to step up to higher roles anymore.. which is a mix of relief and disappointment because I’m not expected to do things I don’t know if I necessarily can do, and so, feeling stable and sure of my role - and not the imposter! ..but I’m also feeling not seen for my ability and then the success of promotion.
That’s such a great example, and I can imagine you feel conflicted about no longer being invited to take on more responsibility. It’s a tricky thing to balance your boundaries with also wanting to be challenged. There is obviously that part of you that wants to rise to meet higher expectations but sometimes our life stage, emotional state or, like you said, mental load makes it difficult to take on more in our professional roles.
You’re in a season of life where it’s important to have boundaries around taking on more work, but of course the Projector desire to be seen and recognised is still there. But it’s important that Projectors are recognised for the right thing.
As a 6/2 you are going to naturally pick things up quickly and then make it look easy from the outside, which means others see that you are very capable of a wide range of things. But that’s not necessarily true recognition. And you’ve probably noticed that you don’t experience the same sense of ‘success’ when you are saying yes to extra responsibility, that you don’t actually have the energy for?
Your answer might also fluctuate depending on your hermit cycles (whether you are in retreat mode or outside your cave) so that could be contributing to you feeling confused about whether you want the invitations or not?
Thanks for sharing lovely 💛
Yes definitely depends on the day as to how much extra I can/want to take on. And then also depends on the day as to how capable I feel with any given task.
I have to say again how lovely it is to feel so seen and understand by you! It’s actually like a pressure relief. Thank you 💛
🙏🙏💛